When my husband Michael was dying, I didn’t know what kind of support I would need. Everything felt unfamiliar, even the simplest decisions. Grief has a way of narrowing your world while asking more of you than you feel able to give.
During that time, I leaned on my friend Heather Spratt, who had also been close to Michael. Heather and Michael knew each other from their years in Ottawa, and she had been a dear friend to both of us. Long before she became a death doula, Heather was someone who showed up with steadiness and care.
By the time Michael passed, Heather had founded One Step Beyond, her death doula practice. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what a death doula did. What I did understand was how much her presence mattered.
What Is a Death Doula?
A death doula provides non-medical support to individuals and families facing end-of-life, death, and grief. Their role is rooted in presence, listening, advocacy, and guidance. Unlike medical professionals, death doulas focus on emotional, practical, and relational support.
In many ways, their work mirrors that of birth doulas. Just as a birth doula supports families through the uncertainty and intensity of bringing a life into the world, a death doula supports people through the profound transition at the end of life. Death doulas do not rush decisions. Instead, they help families slow down, understand their options, and move through difficult moments with greater clarity. A death doula provides non-medical support to individuals and families facing end-of-life, death, and grief. Their role is rooted in presence, listening, advocacy, and guidance. Unlike medical professionals, death doulas focus on emotional, practical, and relational support.
In many ways, their work mirrors that of birth doulas. Just as a birth doula supports families through the uncertainty and intensity of bringing a life into the world, a death doula supports people through the profound transition at the end of life. Death doulas do not rush decisions. Instead, they help families slow down, understand their options, and move through difficult moments with greater clarity.
How Heather Supported Me
Heather supported me in ways that were both visible and invisible. She listened when I needed to talk. She sat quietly when words felt impossible. When my mind felt fogged by grief, she helped me think through decisions without pressure. Importantly, Heather was the person who connected me with Eco Funeral and introduced me to aquamation. That single connection changed everything. She helped open a door I didn’t know existed and did so gently, without urgency or agenda. Throughout those days, Heather never tried to fix my grief. She understood that grief isn’t a problem to solve. It’s something to be witnessed.
Why Death Doula Support Matters
End-of-life and grief can feel isolating. Many people don’t know where to turn or what kind of help is available. A death doula offers calm guidance during moments that can otherwise feel overwhelming. For families, this support can be especially meaningful. Death doulas often help with conversations, decision-making, and emotional processing. They also provide reassurance that there is no “right” way to grieve.
Death doulas often continue to support families through grief, working alongside other forms of bereavement support as people navigate loss at their own pace. This layered approach can help individuals and families feel less isolated as they move through the months that follow a death.
In addition, death doulas may help families explore practical end-of-life choices, including options like aquamation versus cremation, with clarity and care. Having calm guidance during these decisions can ease the burden when grief makes thinking clearly difficult.
Heather’s work reflects a deeper commitment to service. In addition to her death doula practice, she is the Executive Director of the Dollar A Day Foundation, where care and advocacy guide everything she does. Supporting others is not something she does occasionally — it is the foundation of her life.
You Don’t Have to Walk This Alone
If you are facing the loss of someone you love, or navigating end-of-life decisions, support matters. Having someone who can walk beside you — without judgment or pressure — can make an immeasurable difference. Death doula support is not about leading you out of grief. It is about walking with you through it. Heather did that for me, with compassion and steadiness, during some of the hardest days of my life. No one should have to face those days alone.
