Supporting children through grief begins long before loss itself. For many families, it starts with how we talk, how we listen, and how willing we are to sit with hard truths together. Rather than shielding children from pain, honest and compassionate conversations can help them feel safer as they begin to understand what is happening around them.
Preparing a Child for the Loss of a Parent
My husband, Michael, had been ill for many years. He lived with heart failure and pulmonary fibrosis, conditions that brought repeated hospitalizations and long periods of uncertainty. For our family, illness was not an isolated event—it shaped our daily life, our routines, and our emotional landscape.
As Michael’s health declined, it became clear that he would not live a long life. Because of this, we faced a painful reality: our son Jones would lose his father at a young age. In time, we realized that avoiding the truth would not protect him—it would only leave him unprepared. Michael would not be there to see Jones grow up, graduate, get married, or start a family of his own.
Knowing this didn’t make it easier—but it made honesty essential. We made the difficult decision to prepare Jones for what was coming, rather than shield him from the truth. This didn’t mean overwhelming him with details or timelines. It meant speaking honestly, in age-appropriate ways, and allowing space for his questions, fears, and emotions—without rushing to fix them.
Why Outside Grief Support Can Matter for Children
As parents, we love deeply—but love alone doesn’t always give us the tools to support a grieving child. We recognized that Jones needed support beyond our family, someone trained to help children process fear, anticipatory grief, and uncertainty in ways we could not do alone. That’s when we connected with Andrea Warnick and Associates, a grief support organization specializing in helping children and families navigate loss.
Working with Andrea Warnick gave us guidance, language, and reassurance. They helped Jones process what it meant to lose his father—not all at once, but gradually, safely, and with care. They also helped us, as parents, understand how to respond when emotions surfaced in unexpected ways. Grief support for children isn’t about removing pain. It’s about helping them understand that their feelings make sense, that they are not alone, and that they can keep talking—even when words are hard to find.
The Weight of a Parent’s Grief
One of the hardest parts of losing my husband was knowing how deeply it would affect our son. My grief was profound—but my heart ached in a different way when I thought about Jones growing up without his father. I worried about the milestones Michael would miss. I worried about the questions Jones would carry into adulthood. I worried about how pain would shape him. What I’ve learned is that children don’t need perfect parents in grief. They need present ones.
Sharing Grief, Not Hiding It
We chose honesty. In doing so, we talked openly with Jones about what was coming. By allowing space for his questions and fears, we helped him feel supported rather than alone. I let Jones see me cry. I shared my fears, my sadness, and my heartache. We cried together at night. We talked about how much we missed Michael. We talked about how unfair it felt. And we also looked for him—together. We looked for Michael in the stars, in the quiet moments before sleep. We noticed cardinals passing by our window in the morning and spoke his name out loud. We created small rituals of remembrance, not to replace him, but to keep our connection alive. Sharing grief openly didn’t burden Jones—it brought us closer. It showed him that grief is not something to hide or carry alone.
Grief Is Not Linear—for Children or Adults
Children often move in and out of grief more fluidly than adults. They may laugh one moment and cry the next. They may ask the same questions again and again, or go quiet for long stretches. Jones continues to see his therapist today. Keeping that door open has been essential. Grief doesn’t end—it changes. It returns in waves, often at unexpected moments. Supporting children through grief means understanding that healing isn’t a straight path. It means meeting them where they are, again and again, without expectation.
What Supporting a Grieving Child Can Look Like
Every family is different, but a few principles guided us:
- Be honest, using language your child can understand
- Invite questions, even when they’re painful
- Allow your child to see your grief
- Seek professional grief support when needed
- Create rituals of remembrance
- Keep conversations open over time
Most importantly, remind your child—through words and actions—that it’s okay to feel, to cry, and to keep loving the person they’ve lost.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Supporting children through grief often requires more support than we expect. In many cases, families benefit from broader bereavement support, especially in the months following a loss when emotions continue to shift.. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of care. Professional grief support can offer children a safe place to express fears they may not voice at home, and it can give parents the tools to walk alongside their children with more confidence and compassion. Grief will come and go. But honesty, connection, and shared remembrance can become steady ground—something both you and your child can return to, together.
